Watch for low hanging plans

I responded to a friend yesterday... I thought this may be of interest:

hmm, this is just in a comment to your email yesterday. I don't think there's anything shallow about trying to enjoy what's in front of you. Most days I spend reeling in my own emotions unable to separate what I think I feel, or how I want to feel, from my own world that's right in front of me. To want to reach out and touch a frond, not a bad thing. I play make believe that all the things around me are there to make sense and prove some sort of a point, when in reality it's just arbitrary meaning. To say that my relationship is shallow, yes of course it is, and to say that it's deep, of course. We've survived literally living in a cesspool together. It doesn't hurt my feelings to think I like to see what I love showered and smelling fresh... i guess maybe it comes down to desire and commitment. maybe that's all it is, and for me to keep that desire, it has to be desirable. True, I should be happy with myself, I should be happy with what I love, and to extents, I am, but to separate the love I have from the desire I have is inhuman to me, calculating... I hear about people being content with the life in front of them, how they're all set now and have sublimated their worldly desires, I don't believe it at all. What's the point? Heaven's gate? There is no all encompassing love unless you want to drown your senses in a drug and fuck. And when it wears off your left looking for something again. But I can see how 4 trillion dollars in advertising has culled my senses to think that everything has a beginning and an end. Every religion has one of each. Every sentence. My mind conditioned to believe in time and extremes. The smallest of particles, the infinite pi. Things just don't work like that. But I do want them too. And that's the sickness I want to kill off.